learning one day at a time

Submission In Marriage December 19, 2011

Filed under: Faith,Family,Marriage,Ministry — fullofhisgrace @ 5:21 pm
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The Bible commands wives to submit to their husbands….

Ephesians 5:21-32 (KJV)

21Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

22Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

26That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

27That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

28So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

29For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

30For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

31For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

32This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

I think submission is hard for many women. According to the dictionary, submission is…

sub·mis·sion  (sb-mshn)



a. The act of submitting to the power of another: “Oppression that cannot be overcome does not give rise to revolt but to submission” (Simone Weil).
b. The state of having submitted.
2. The state of being submissive or compliant; meekness
Many women today do not view themselves as meek. Women in today’s society have taken on a much more aggressive role. Women are in business and some women are even working while their husband stays home to be the nurturer. These different lifestyles do not put women in meek positions.
Submission to one’s husband is not something to be feared or even dreaded. Husbands are commanded to love their wives as Christ loves the church. Husbands who love their wives self-sacrificially will want to do what is best for their families and will respectfully listen to the opinions of their spouse.
I do not believe that husbands should belittle their wives or make them feel lesser, but that they should carefully weigh their opinions and then make a decision that is in line with God’s will for their family. It is my job to follow my husband…he is the head of our household. That does not mean I have to follow him into something that disturbs my spirit, or that makes me uncomfortable. Marriage is the joining of souls, bodies, minds, hearts….when something hurts me, makes me uncomfortable or upsets me, it upsets my husband. This is how God intended marriage….”the two shall become one” (Matthew 19:4-6).
Our Wedding 6.19.10
Marriage on earth is meant to be a reflection of Christ and the church (believers). Christian couples have an example to uphold for the world. If marriage is a reflection of Christ’s love of the church, then it should be Christ-like. Marriage is a ministry…a living ministry. Husbands have a tall order to fill. They are responsible for their families, for providing, and for their spiritual growth as well. Submissive wives are the most helpful to their husbands in fulfilling their calling from God to their families.
I am not always wonderful at being submissive to my husband…I argue and get angry even though I know he is doing what is best for us. It is hard to leave decision making up to him, but I am learning that if I spend time praying about the situation and if I am praying for God to give him wisdom in the matter that being submissive isn’t as difficult as I once thought. I am happy to let my husband be the leader in our home…it is what he was designed to do.
I hope this post has encouraged some wives out there to really let their husbands be the leader in the home, or perhaps encouraged some husbands to be understanding of their wives.
Blessings In Christ,

9 Responses to “Submission In Marriage”

  1. Sarah Says:

    Hi Ya, It is sarah here from 1pastorswife.wordpress.com It is so nice to see that you wrote about how husbands need to be Christ like and do as Christ did. Which is living sacrifically by often having to give up their own wants in order to serve and not be served.

    It brakes my heart when Pastors/Ministers at weddings preach to the new wife about submitting to her new husband but NOTHING is said about how the husband also needs to submit to the will of God. Great reminder & great post.

  2. Jo Bower Says:

    I think maybe we have the wrong connatation of submission as Christian women. It’s not just letting my husband taking the spiritual lead. It’s refraining from much of the confrontation, nit-picking, constantly criticical, constant complaining about, constant need to approve of everything he does, or keeping score we see in many marriages. I’ve seen ‘submissive’ Christian women make their husbands’ lives miserable. Submission is smooth, not barbed. It embraces rather than applies words and attitudes like a sculpture’s knife to remake the man.

  3. I’m a big believer in Philippians where it says to “do everything without complaining or arguing” – I also translate that as nagging. As a wife, when I am more of an encouragement, I find my husband makes better decisions. He loves me like Christ and I give him respect as the Bride and it makes life good. :)

  4. Jo Bower Says:

    Okay, I was afraid I’d get blown out of the water with my last comments. Since I didn’t, let me throw this out, It may upset you are first, but think about it. I’ve come to believe marriages that last and grow are made up of two people who have given themselves to voluntary, mutual servanthood. Both partners willingly, and sometimes not so willingly, put the welfare of the other person first. Agape… God’s love. The act of always wanting the best for the other person. The way of living that results from this way of loving takes marriage to a completely different place, and the conversation about submission is left in the dust. But first there has to be a change of heart. You must first love your spouse with all your heart, mind and soul before mutual servanthood is possible.

    May God give us courage to love like this.
    And by the way, this is a wonderful discription of my relationship with God as well as my beloved husband.

  5. concertofprayer Says:

    Ladies – let’s throw one more thought out there. Submission is a benefit! In teaching a study on Psalm 103 I discovered this in verse 2. God gives us this benefit. P.S. Full of grace thanks for following my blog!

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