fullofhisgrace

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Fighting Fairly In The Marriage Relationship….part 4 March 10, 2012

I think it is unrealistic to assume you will never get into an argument with your spouse, or that you will never disagree over something important. Arguing is healthy if it is done right. It is important to discuss issues and it is okay to disagree with each other, but it is all in how you handle the argument. Fighting fair is essential in keeping your marriage together. Here are some rules to go by for fighting fairly with your spouse.

1. Focus on the present problem.

This is harder than it seems sometimes. When you are arguing with your spouse it is so important to focus on the present. Bringing up past mistakes will not benefit anyone. It will only escalate the problem. Also, bringing up the past means you are still dwelling in it. When you have hashed out your problem you should forgive one another and not use it as a weapon in your next argument.

2. Don’t use destructive or critical words.

Our words are meant to build one another up, not tear each other down. When you are arguing it is important not to use an accusatory tone or to demean your husband or wife. When you argue it should not be an attack on your spouse’s character. An argument should never become verbally abusive, or physically. I am sure that everyone knows it is never acceptable to bring physical harm to your spouse. If you are in that sort of a situation, seek help immediately!

Also, on a side note, do not give your spouse the silent treatment. This is one of the most juvenile things ever. It does not show maturity on your part to refuse to speak to your spouse. Be willing to talk and get your feelings out there…

 

3. Be willing to take responsibility.

If you have done something hurtful to your spouse, own up to it! There is nothing more irritating than having your feelings discounted or written off. Imagine that you are in their shoes. How would you want them to handle the situation if your roles were reversed? It is a good idea to consider your spouse and how they may be feeling. Focusing just on yourself is selfish and does not show a sacrificial love for your husband or wife. Being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes shows empathy and your marriage will benefit from it greatly.

4. LISTEN

Listen to what your spouse has to say and take it to heart. They are not telling you just to hear themselves talk. They are striving to better the relationship by solving the problems that have created tension within your marriage. If you are not going to listen to what they have to say and strive to change, your marriage is not going to be a happy one.

5. No distractions.

When you talk things out there should be no distractions. You should focus on one another and give your full attention. Your marriage should be the second most important thing in your life (God comes first), and you should be doing everything within your power to make amends when something goes amiss. If you are texting, or watching television instead of actively working to solve your issues, then nothing good is being done.

6. Fight Naked

Haha just kidding! This was some marital advice from my cousin at my bridal shower. :) Apparently it is hard to stay angry when you are naked.

There is so so much more I could add to this list about fighting fair, but I think you can figure out the rest on your own. This should give you a good start.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 8 Love never fails.

Ephesians 4:26

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry”

1 Corinthians 7:3-5

“The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

Proverbs 18:2

“Fools find no pleasure in understanding
but delight in airing their own opinions.”

Matthew 6:14-15

 “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

To check out some more marital advice, visit here, here, and here

Father, 

Please bless the marriage of anyone who reads this blog. Help them to build the 
foundation of their lives, of their marriage on You. Give them love for one another
and joy that runs over. Thank you for the divine institution of marriage
and for giving us a glimpse of the heavenly relationship between Christ and
the church. Help each of us to recognize that we are sinners and nothing in our
lives, including our marriages will succeed without Your guiding hand.

In Your Precious Name,
Amen

Blessings In Christ,
Jenny

Related Articles:

24 Guidelines For Fighting Fair In Marriage 

Fight Fair In Marriage

Learn To Fight Fair- Christian Video

Fighting Fair

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Another Thought About Marriage….(part 3) March 9, 2012

Filed under: Faith,Homemaking,Marriage,Ministry — fullofhisgrace @ 1:24 am
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One wonderful thing I have noticed in our marriage is that when I pay attention to my husband, listen to his stories and really care about things he is interested in, he really knows I love him. 

I am not saying that you have to pretend to love football just because your husband does, but I do think it is important to show interest in things that are important to him. Since we have been married, almost two years now (WOW!), I have learned many, many things about bow hunting, scouting, paintball, and concrete.

These are not all things I would normally look into myself, but because they are part of his life, I try to be fairly knowledgeable. I read the hunting magazines that come into the house before he does and can carry on an intelligible conversation about deer, bows, and scouting.

Your husband wants to know that you care about the things that mean something to him and that you take an interest in him. It is so nice to be able to talk about things that interest him. I think about that song Toby Keith sings...”I Wanna Talk About Me.” It is easy, especially for women to start talking about everything they are interested in and what is going on in their lives and to rarely ask their husband questions about their interests. I have not met very many men who talk as much as their wives. It is wonderful to be able to draw out your husband and really pay attention to his stories about their hobbies and such.

It strengthens the marriage relationship when both husband and wife feel valued, and here is one way to show it! So ladies, start asking questions and listening to the answers. It is nice to surprise your man later when you remember something he told you!

Blessings In Christ,
Jenny

 

Words of Praise February 28, 2012

Filed under: Faith,Family,Homemaking,Marriage,Ministry — fullofhisgrace @ 6:18 pm
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If I had a dime for every complaint I have ever uttered, I would be rich. It saddens me to think how often I offer complaints instead of thanksgiving, criticism instead of praise, or hurt instead of healing. Our tongues are what cause the most sin in our lives. How often have I said things I wish I could take back…

Proverbs 21:23

“Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.”

Ephesians 4:29

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

Most things I say are pointless. We will be judged by the words we have spoken. That is a promise from God (Matthew 12:37). God cares about what we say. He cares about what words we use and how we use them. Let praise for God overflow from our mouths and let us carefully weigh what we want to say before we actually do it. I have always been told, “God gave you two ears and one mouth.” That is so true! Those ears are for listening and we should listen twice as much as we speak. I will be working on this for the rest of my life I am sure, and I will fail often, but it is something we need to be very aware of. I will be looking at the words Jesus spoke. They were harsh, always constructive, glorifying to the Father, healing, true, and sure. He was confident in the words he spoke because they were good. Jesus spoke with purpose. He is the perfect example and we should be following in His footsteps in every way, even in our speech. I hope you will join me and strive to speak only things that are glorifying to God!

Blessings In Christ,
Jenny

 

How To Celebrate Valentine’s Day This Year February 13, 2012

Filed under: Faith,Marriage,Recipes — fullofhisgrace @ 3:12 pm
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Here we go all you married couples out there, a list of inexpensive ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day just in case you are stumped this year! It really isn’t about gifts or extravagance…it’s about celebrating your love for each other. It doesn’t have to cost a fortune!

1. Build a fort.
Yes, I said build a fort. Get some blankets and chairs and fashion a quilt fort that you can spend the night in. Rent a movie or read a book together, buy some yummy Heart-Day treats and light some candles. This actually is really romantic and just fun, not to mention inexpensive! It feels like you are going away, but really you are just moving to a different room. Be sure to sleep in your fort to get the full experience!

2. Go see a romantic movie.
Usually there are many romantic movies coming out around Valentine’s Day. My suggestion would be The Vow this year.

3. Make dessert together.
Spend the evening in the kitchen making chocolate covered strawberries, cupcakes, or ice cream sundaes. This is sweet because you can spend time together and celebrate the day of love with foods.

4. Candlelit Dinner.
Husband’s this is for you! If you really want to impress your wife, cook her dinner, set the table with flower, candles and a tablecloth, and play some romantic music! She will LOVE it! Here are some great recipes for a romantic dinner:

Chicken Parmigiana

Ingredients

  • 1 egg, beaten
  • 2 ounces dry bread crumbs
  • 2 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
  • 3/4 (16 ounce) jar spaghetti sauce
  • 2 ounces shredded mozzarella cheese
  • 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
 Directions
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Lightly grease a medium baking sheet.
  2. Pour egg into a small shallow bowl. Place bread crumbs in a separate shallow bowl. Dip chicken into egg, then into the bread crumbs. Place coated chicken on the prepared baking sheet and bake in the preheated oven for 40 minutes, or until no longer pink and juices run clear.
  3. Pour 1/2 of the spaghetti sauce into a 7×11 inch baking dish. Place chicken over sauce, and cover with remaining sauce. Sprinkle mozzarella and Parmesan cheeses on top and return to the preheated oven for 20 minutes.

Baked Broccoli

Ingredients

  • 1/4 cup olive oil
  • 2 tablespoons brown sugar
  • 1 1/2 tablespoons lemon juice
  • 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
  • 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon dried oregano (optional)
  • 1/2 teaspoon dried thyme (optional)
  • 1 pinch salt
  • 1 pinch fresh ground black pepper
  • 1 pound broccoli florets
 Directions
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
  2. In a bowl, mix together the olive oil, brown sugar, lemon juice, cayenne pepper, garlic powder, oregano, thyme, salt, and black pepper until thoroughly combined. Add the broccoli florets, and toss until evenly coated with the seasoning. Spread the broccoli florets out onto an baking sheet with a rim.
  3. Bake in the preheated oven until the broccoli is just browned on the top, 10 to 15 minutes.

Chocolate Covered Strawberries

Ingredients

  • 16 ounces milk chocolate chips
  • 2 tablespoons shortening
  • 1 pound fresh strawberries with leaves
 Directions
  1. Insert toothpicks into the tops of the strawberries.
  2. In a double boiler, melt the chocolate and shortening, stirring occasionally until smooth. Holding them by the toothpicks, dip the strawberries into the chocolate mixture.
  3. Turn the strawberries upside down and insert the toothpick into styrofoam for the chocolate to cool.

5. Go for a drive and star gaze in the country.
Make sure to dress warmly, and take lots of blankets if you live in a cold climate! It is always sweet to star gaze with your honey and it’s fun to snuggle in the cold too!

6. Write love letters.
Sit together at the table and write each other a love letter, a poem, a song or make a list of why you love your spouse. It is fun to read these out loud to one another.

7. Picnic.
I know it’s freezing outside…it is February after all, but picnics can be inside too. Set up a picnic in a room of your house that you don’t normally eat in. Actually pack a picnic basket and lead them to your romantic picnic. This is nice because you can light candles, sit on pillows, have flowers and so much more. Your imagination is the limit on this! It is a nice surprise for your husband or wife too, they will be thoroughly impressed!

8. Decorate your bedroom.
Make the bed, set out candles, rose petals and what not and celebrate love! Your spouse will love this because you put forth effort to make it special.

9. Massages.
Give one another massages. It is sweet and free!

10. Board Games.
Play board games or cards together. You can play for different things like winner gets a kiss and loser has to do the dishes after tomorrow’s supper.

Have a Happy Valentine’s Day! Don’t forget that marriage is glorifying to God so take the time and celebrate the love He has given you for your spouse. Let them know how much they mean to you!

Blessings In Christ,
Jenny

 

Forging Friendships January 23, 2012

Filed under: Faith,Ministry — fullofhisgrace @ 12:47 am
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To me, finding Christian friends is so important. These are people that God gives you so you can lean on one another, so that you can count on each other for prayer and encouragement and understanding.

Finding these friends can be hard, but when you do they are precious. Some ways to find friends who hold the same beliefs and values are….

1. Make friends at church
Church is a great place to make friends because that is where Christians go! I do not think that all people who go to church are Christians and that is sad, but it really is a good place to start. Be outgoing and get involved in a Bible study, youth group, or mission team. Friendships that are Christ-centered are the strongest, and longest lasting friendships you will make.

 2. Join a group online
It is a great idea to join a Christian book club online, or a Bible study. I know these relationships aren’t face to face, but they are wonderful for prayer and encouragement.

3. Tell your friends about your faith
If you tell your friends about your faith, you may find someone who believes the same way you do.

These are just a few ways to find friends who share your beliefs. What do you look for in a friend? What types of friendships do you think are the best? I am very interested in this and would love to hear from you!

Blessings In Christ,
Jenny

 

 

Fearfully & Wonderfully Made… January 16, 2012

Filed under: Faith,Ministry — fullofhisgrace @ 3:10 pm
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Psalm 139:14

New King James Version (NKJV)

14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;[a]
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.

Ephesians 1:3-4

New King James Version (NKJV)

   3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, 4 just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love,

Jeremiah 29:11

New King James Version (NKJV)

11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD,
thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Jeremiah 1:5

New King James Version (NKJV)

5 “ Before I formed you in the womb I knew you;
Before you were born I sanctified you;

God has a plan for you, you were created in His image. YOU are fearfully and wonderfully made! He has chosen you and all you have to do is accept him. You have a purpose in this life and you are worth far more than you think you are. You are beautiful, special, and gifted. Praise the Lord and use those gifts to further His kingdom! I am currently doing a Bible study on Ephesians with Good Morning Girls, and today we studied Ephesian 1:1-4. It was an eye-opener for me because it showed me just how much God loves! Not only did He send His one and only Son to die for the sins of the world, for you and for me, but He loves us before we exist. He chose us before the world began, each and every single person in the world is chosen by God, we just have to accept Him. That is a powerful love! Society tells us that we aren’t beautiful, that we aren’t special, that we are invisible, but to the Creator of the universe, we are something, and that is more important than what anyone else says. You don’t have to look like a model to be special to God. You don’t have to be rich to be important (Jesus actually tells us it is hard for a rich man to enter Heaven Mark 10). You don’t have to be the most popular person at school, work or church to be liked and loved. You don’t need to fulfill yourself with worldly things to find contentment, acceptance, love, joy, or peace. You were created by God and are loved by Him. Remember this today and always. Don’t look down on yourself, and don’t let others tear you down.

You are a child of the King! Let your inner light shine, you beautiful person!

Blessings In Christ,
Jenny

 

God’s Calling December 13, 2011

Filed under: Faith,Family,Homemaking,Marriage,Ministry — fullofhisgrace @ 2:53 pm
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I have begun learning about what God is calling me to be as a woman, a wife, a homemaker, and someday a mother.
In Genesis, God created Eve to be a help meet to Adam. This means that Eve was created as a suitable helper to him, her husband. She was to assist him in all things and help him aspire to achieve all that he could. She was his helper in fulfilling God’s calling for her husband.

This is a tall order. Being a help meet to your husband could require many different things. Being supportive, creating a home that is a haven for your husband, building up his self esteem, having an attitude of servitude, and loving self-sacrificially. Being a wife is a very high calling indeed.

Ephesians 5:25-27

King James Version (KJV)

  25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

26That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

27That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

I think many women struggle with being their husband’s help meet because they dislike submission to their husbands. Submitting to your husband does not mean that he can walk all over you. The Bible commands husbands to love their wives and if a husband is loving his wife, he will want to listen to her. Her opinions will be valued and taken into consideration. Yes, the man has the final say in matters as the head of the household, but he will decide in love what is best for his family. Submission is something that I think needs to be recaptured. So many women are caught up in what society is demanding from women that they overlook what God has called for in their lives.  The Proverbs 31 woman paints a picture of how a woman should conduct herself and manage her home…

Proverbs 31:10-31

King James Version (KJV)

 10Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

11The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

12She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

13She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

14She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

15She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

16She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

17She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

18She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

19She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

20She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

21She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

22She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

23Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

24She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

25Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

26She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

27She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

28Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

29Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

30Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

31Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

This woman works in her home…she is not idle and she accomplishes many tasks within a day. This woman is impressive and intimidating. I do not think that these verses are describing one particular woman, but an ideal woman that all women should aspire to be like. Striving to be like the Proverbs 31 woman should be a daily undertaking, something that you continually work to shape yourself into. Throughout my home I have posted note cards that say things like “be kind, be energetic, be emotionally healthy, be a wise stewardess of our finances, etc.” When I see these notes to myself posted throughout my home on cupboards, the backs of doors or the sides of mirrors, I am uplifted and encouraged. I fail daily at being kind, loving, and contented, but when I fail, I am challenged to be better tomorrow. No one is perfect, and it is a wonderful reminder that YES! I do need Jesus!! We all do!

I will be posting much more on this topic as I feel it is very significant! I hope that you will be learning along with me and sharing the revelations God has given to you regarding the scriptures for women and the lives we should be living. I am so looking forward to my journey through life as a woman, wife, homemaker, someday mother that God has called me to be!

Blessings In Christ,
Jenny